The Dance of Non-verbal Communication: types of Nonverbal Cues reading body language
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and felt like there was something they weren’t saying?
It’s like communication is a dance party and everyone’s invited, but not everyone knows the moves.
Sure, we all know the words we’re supposed to say. Subtle changes in body language, tone, and colour tell us a lot.
Luckily, we can all learn to read these cues like pros! In fact, one person who’s done extensive research in this area is Paul Ekman.
Nonverbal communication is important
He’s a psychologist who has spent years studying non-verbal communication and how it relates to our emotions.
Ekman’s most well-known work is around micro expressions, which are the small, involuntary facial expressions that flash across our faces in a fraction of a second.
These expressions can give away our genuine emotions, even if we’re trying to hide them. For example, if someone’s feeling angry, they might try to hide it by smiling and saying everything’s fine.
But if you pay attention to their micro expressions, you might notice a flash of anger in their eyes or a tightening of their jaw.
Types of Nonverbal communication examples:
But it’s not just micro expressions we need to pay attention to. There are many non-verbal cues we can observe to better understand those around us. Here are some examples:
Visual Cues:
- Facial expressions (smiling, frowning, grimacing)
- Eye movements, eye contact (looking up, down, to the side)
- Body posture (slouching, standing up straight)
- Hand gestures (pointing, waving)
- Clothing choices (formal, casual)
- Jewelry/accessories (simple, bold)
- Environment (tidy, messy)
Skin Cues:
- Blushing (redness on face)
- Sweating (forehead, palms)
- Goosebumps (arms, neck)
- Pupil dilation (small, large)
- Flushed skin (rosy cheeks)
- Dark circles (under eyes)
- Acne or blemishes
Auditory Cues:
- Tone of voice (high, low, monotone)
- Inflection (emphasis on certain words)
- Laughter (giggles, cackles)
- Breathing (shallow, deep)
- Speech patterns (hesitant, fluent)
- Background noise (music, voices)
- Silence (comfortable, awkward)
Touch Cues:
- Temperature (warm, cold)
- Pressure (firm, gentle)
- Texture (rough, smooth)
- Movement (tapping, patting)
- Pace (fast, slow)
- Duration (short, long)
- Location (arm, back)
By paying attention to non-verbal cues, we can improve our ability to read people and build better relationships. Theses are just 28 types of nonverbal communications. What other can you think of for effective communication?
Improve nonverbal communication skills
For example, if someone’s uncomfortable in a particular situation, noticing their non-verbal cues can help us change our approach to put them at ease. In a professional setting, being able to read non-verbal cues can help us build rapport with clients and colleagues and improve our communication skills.
Now, let’s get to the fun part – the exercises! Here are some exercises you can try to improve your non-verbal communication skills:
- Visual Exercise: Choose a partner and think of a colour. Saying nothing, try to convey that colour to your partner using only non-verbal cues (such as facial expressions, gestures, or body posture). Your partner then tries to guess the colour.
- Skin Exercise: Choose a partner and ask them to tell you a joke. Pay attention to any skin cues (blushing, sweating, goosebumps) that might give away their true feelings about the joke.
- Auditory Exercise: Listen to a speech or conversation. Notice the tone, rhythm, and melody of the conversation.
- Touch Exercise: working with three other people, have your back to the group with your eyes closes. Have each person touch your back. From the touch, say who is touching you.
- Context Exercise: Watch a TV show or movie with the sound turned off. Pay attention to the non-verbal cues of the characters and try to guess what’s happening in the scene based on those cues alone. Then, turn the sound back on and see how accurate your guesses were.
By practicing these exercises, we can improve our ability to read non-verbal cues and become communication dance masters!
People can interpret non-verbal cues differently depending on the situation and cultural context. Be aware of this and adjust your interpretation accordingly.
Closeness as nonverbal behaviour
Edward T. Hall was a cultural anthropologist who specialised in nonverbal communication. He believed that physical space – or what he called “proxemics” – was just as important communication as words or body language.
According to Hall, the distance between two people can convey a powerful message about their relationship. For example, if someone stands too close to you, it can be uncomfortable and even threatening.
If someone stands too far away, we can interpret it as aloof or disinterested.
But it’s not just about physical distance – Hall also believed that the way we use space can reveal a lot about our culture and social norms.
For example, in some cultures, it’s perfectly acceptable to stand close to someone when speaking, while in others, it’s considered rude or invasive.
So the next time you find yourself in a social situation, pay attention to the physical distance between you and the other person.
- Are you standing too close?
- Too far away?
- Is the other person comfortable with the amount of space between you?
By tuning into these nonverbal cues, you can better understand the dynamics of the situation and communicate more effectively. Just remember – physical space is not just empty air, but a powerful message all its own.
Example of nonverbal communication
And now, let me tell you a personal story about how being able to read non-verbal cues saved me on my birthday.
I was in London running an NLP Practitioner, and after the session, my students surprised me by inviting me to a comedy club. We had a great time, but the MC, who had been on TV, wasn’t quite hitting it off with the audience.
On the surface, everything seemed fine, but something in my unconscious mind told me that something was off.
So, I relaxed and started paying attention to his non-verbal cues. It turned out that he was sending out subtle signals that hinted at potential trouble brewing between him and the audience.
I knew I had to act fast before things got out of hand, so I turned to my students and said, It’s time to go.
They wanted to stay, but I trusted my instincts and left the club alone. The next day, I found out that the MC had hit someone from the audience, and the police had to be called. My students didn’t get out of the club until 3 am!
This experience reminded me of the importance of paying attention to non-verbal cues and trusting our instincts.
Aligning your nonverbal message
Aligning your nonverbal message with the message you want to convey is like playing a musical instrument.
Just like a musician must handpick the right notes and rhythms to create a specific sound, you select the right nonverbal cues to create a specific message.
Just like a musician must be in tune with their instrument, you must be in tune with your own body language. Are you standing tall and making eye contact to convey confidence? Or are you slouching and avoiding eye contact to convey shyness or discomfort?
But it’s not just about individual cues – it’s about the overall harmony of your message. Just like a musician must ensure that all the notes they play fit together to create a cohesive melody, you ensure that your nonverbal cues fit together to create a cohesive message.
In music, timing is everything – and the same is true for nonverbal communication. Just like a musician must carefully time their notes and rhythms, you must carefully time your nonverbal cues to match your verbal message. For example, if you’re telling a joke, you might use a playful tone of voice and an animated facial expression to enhance the humour.
So the next time you’re communicating a message, think of it like playing a musical instrument. Be mindful of your nonverbal cues and how they fit together to create a harmonious message.
With practice and attention, you can create a beautiful symphony of words and nonverbal cues that will convey your message loud and clear.
Read body language the myths
Reading body language is like trying to solve a puzzle. There are many unique pieces to consider – from body posture to facial expressions to tone of voice – and it’s difficult to put them all together.
However, just like with a puzzle, the more you practise, the easier it becomes to see the bigger picture.
Unfortunately, there are also many myths and misconceptions about reading body language that can throw us off track. For example, some people believe that folding your arms means you’re closed off to new ideas or that avoiding eye contact means you’re lying.
But just like with a puzzle, it’s important to look at all the pieces before jumping to conclusions. Folding your arms could simply mean you’re getting comfortable, and avoiding eye contact could be a sign of shyness or nervousness.
In order to truly master the art of reading body language, we need to approach each situation with an open mind and a willingness to learn.
Just like with a puzzle, the more we practise, the more we’ll see patterns and make connections. So don’t be afraid to take on the challenge of reading body language – it may be difficult at first, but with practice and persistence, you can become a master puzzle-solver!
By learning to read people and being mindful of our own non-verbal cues, we can improve our communication skills and build better relationships with those around us.
So, put on your dancing shoes and start reading those non-verbal cues like a pro! With practice, you can become a communication dance master and wow everyone on the dance floor.
FAQ about nonverbal signals
Q: What are non-verbal cues?
A: Non-verbal cues are any type of communication that is not spoken or written. This can include body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and more.
Q: Why are non-verbal cues important?
A: Non-verbal cues can give us valuable information about how someone is feeling or what they are thinking, even if they are not saying it outright. This can help us better understand those around us and improve our communication skills.
Q: What is NLP?
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) focuses on how we link our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It involves techniques for improving communication, personal growth, and achieving goals.
Q: How can I become better at reading body language?
A: One way to improve your non-verbal communication skills is to practise observing and interpreting non-verbal cues in your daily interactions. You can also try exercises such as those listed in this article to improve your skills.
Q: Can people misinterpret non-verbal cues?
A: Yes, people can misinterpret non-verbal cues depending on the situation and cultural context. It’s important to be aware of this and adjust your interpretation accordingly.
Q: What are micro expressions?
A: Micro expressions are small, involuntary facial expressions that can give away our genuine emotions, even if we’re trying to hide them. Paul Ekman is a well-known researcher in this area.
Q: Can anyone learn to read non-verbal cues?
A: Yes, anyone can learn to read non-verbal cues with practice and patience. By paying attention to non-verbal cues in your daily interactions, you can improve your skills and become a better communicator.
Recommended books to read nonverbal communications
Paul Ekman “Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life.”
In this book, Ekman draws on his extensive research on facial expressions to help readers improve their emotional intelligence and communication skills.
Think of it like a guidebook to the emotional landscape of the face – with Ekman as your trusty navigator!
Edward T. Hall, “The Hidden Dimension.”
This book explores the cultural and social implications of physical space and how we use it to communicate. It’s like a field guide to the unspoken language of spatial relationships – with Hall as your expert guide.
In “The Hidden Dimension”, Hall shows us how physical distance can speak volumes about our relationships, social norms, and cultural values.
So there you have it – two fascinating books that explore different aspects of nonverbal communication. Whether you’re interested in facial expressions or physical space, these books are sure to deepen your understanding of the complex world of nonverbal cues.
